joyous moments.

horay. finally i'm caught up. today i'm picking up my first roll of 110 film. it's been like ten billion years since I used my little teeny camera, so hopefully it looks fresh. here are some delightful photos from my horrible trip to chicago, wherein i found myself waking up in the union station totally hungover at 5:30 in the morning. thanks, mom. you're a peach.

some other photos are from our majestic trip to winchester bay with the dudes in may.

many other randoms in portland at the happy feet at the fix, the bluffs, biking around, etc.

there are more photos in the most recent eight albums in my picasa account.

this weekend is going to be very busy and hopefully very productive. working on organizing photos, nice hikes in the mist, dubstep and ! a lovely art show at the village ballroom featuring the homies gabe gregg and ian boe. holla!
















it's one of these days. thanks, freezo.

dear summer.

we had so many good times together. we drank too much though, so after today we're taking a break.

i'm going to miss the rooftop hanging sessions. long bikerides in the throbbing heat. long days. good burritos. horchata. laying on my couch with the windows open while fatty gives me a pedicure. the river. the glorious beautiful river. white wine spritzers. have bro sessions in backyards. the warm breeze moving the trees.

i guess i'm kind of bummed that it's over, but i really need to have more structure in the week. otherwise it makes me want to die being just at work. how do people seriously work here? are they joking? jesus. It's really a moot point though. I like summer for so many reasons. this year though ... bad things happened a lot it seemed. I feel better now that all of it has passed and I can stand up while everything around me sheds this years growth. I love the effects of spring. of fall. we shed and we grow in mysterious ways all at once. harvest moons are going to be so much more beautiful this year.

All changes, even the most longed for have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves, we must die to one life before we enter another. - Anatole France

also, i can't fucking wait to go to the corn maize this year. i have a feeling we will be rolling deep with all the crews. ven diagram styles! maybe hit up the lighthouse inn or the always classy casa diablo. oh yeeeeea.

if I can't love you.

last nite went with stephan to dj vadim. good times. good dj's that opened, dj obe and emancipator. pretty nice! lots of weird portland hippies, obvy. anyway, I love dj vadim, like a lot.

he has this remix (down thar, click on it to hear it) that I want so bad I want to cry. I hate it when there's something I want and I don't live in england and don't want to pay 25 bucks for a damn 7 inch vinyl. I mean, it is worth it, but not really. le sigh.

anyway, after work I'm going to mlk fashion plaza for some new ass pants. maybe some leggings. maybe some new lakers gear. bro-ing out will happen today. it has to.

If I Can't Love You - Juno Records

photographic majesticness.

horay! i'm finally getting my photos from the summer developed. jesus christo it took so long! it's going to take even longer to scan those bitches, since there are eight more rolls left. gooooo.

peep game! here are photos from camping, picnicking and wedding funtimes.

there are more pictures on my picasa account. holla!

ultra-violet.

sometimes it's hard to imagine being affected by something completely intangible. something that you want to become wrapped up in but have no idea what it looks like or how strong it can hold you. it can choke you up. something that you want to feel because you've never felt it. it's a curiosity almost. i spend so long looking for this, but I don't even know where to look or what to look for. i'll spend my whole life looking, who knows if i'll find it. just let it find me I guess. jesus. sometimes I feel like there are cobwebs in my heart.

fuck.

anyway. I've been reading A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. this book is amazing. I started reading on sunday, basically. saturday I was feel a little out of place so I didn't read anything. but on sunday and yesterday I couldn't put the damn thing down. I'm literally obsessed with J.D. Salinger. he could write straight from the heart and relate to any jerk that picked up his books. especially (obviously) Catcher in the Rye. Eggers like is the reincarnation. fucking astounding. I'm bummed because I forgot to renew the dang thing at the library and now I have to return and I'm only on page 231. fuck. oh well. I'll finish it up at powells or something.

de la soul was amazing btw.

nice.

I spent this weekend up in the woods somewhere near newport. it was super pretty. we celebrated and got super drunk basically for two whole days. good times. swam in a little pond at some ungodly hour and then polluting the hot tub with our dirty paws. weee!! kel and gabe got married and the fiasco continued until the wee hours. I went swimming for like half a minute, the next thing I know I'm waking up to the smell of wine tequila in the room. oops.

oh and I totally caught a teeny black bat that was hanging tough near the rafters in the house. he was so cute! ian proclaimed he resembled a fuzzy meatball, I concur. his little ass face was adorable! little tiny teeth complete with tiny little mouth. oh man. he was keeeeyooot. anyway. good times were had by all.

I am still recovering and have bruises all over. horay.

btw.

please see my new eyebrow cat friend. why can't ALL animals come with fuzzy eyebrows?

favorites update.

okay. so my list of favorites still stands as

1. Dinosaurs.
2. Popsicles.
3. Outerspace.

expanding to more:

5. pizza.
6. booze.
7. park hanging.
8. sasquatch.

I wish the summer wasn't over so soon. it's a sad, sad thing. it really is.

mountain sitting.

we got to hang out at the top of mount hood forest this weekend. it was so amazing! it was on this gentle sloping hill that had soft ground cover all around us. kind of like sand. our spot overlooked the entire valley basically and at night we could hear the wind whipping through tree tops. it was all very magestic and beautiful. all of us had some pretty epic dreams through the weekend. the first nite they were all bad. the next nite most of slept a little better. erin had a dream that julia made a pinata which got stolen. when it was smashed open by ben there were condoms and wads of cash in it. ben got 28 clams. erin got the same.

we forgot to howl at the moon! lame.

the most lovely thing about the weekend were our in depth conversations about farts. I think we really have something there. we plan to make t-shirts and sell them on the side of the road. the one for napa, which I think Karen came up with, is 'I crop dusted Napa Valley' and have some kind of funny graphic to accompany the text. so epic, wouldn't you agree?

bruce was being really bossy this weekend. but it was cute so we gave him hot dogs and let him chase the flies.

also, we're going to start a blog on French toast, which will also moonlight occassionally as a fart information blog. just in case. for our French toast blog, we'll all be contributing our reviews in and around the Northwestern region of America. I think it's going to blow up. real talk.

today

I want to be in the river. drowning worries and replenishing spirit. i'm going to ride my bike somewhere far to hang out with old friends. don't know where yet, but there will be food and fancy drinks involved. how nice.

it's supposed to be hot today. I'm savoring every last minute of the heat. even though I think wearing a turtle neck is fun sometimes and I do enjoy wearing sleeves that go far below my wrists. I cherish every single moment of warmth. it helps me feel less alone. I can leave at night and not be cold-I can surround myself in the energy of the world and people around me, even though I always return to solitude.

seeing peoples eyes makes me happy. it gives me more purpose into thriving each day. even if I can't have their gaze for more than a moment it makes me feel nice. longing for that embrace.

perfect day

this weekend consisted of perfect days. not just in the sense that everything was accomplished that needed to be accomplished. seeing friends I had not seen for quite some time, sweet weather and long rides on the peninsula, and long talks and laughs with good people.

justin got some free tickets to the rock the bells show at the roseland, we went for talib kweli and it was pretty sweet! I love talib so much. jesus. afterward was drinks and dum dums at the republic cafe. I got to see justin's loft above everyday music, and I have to admit I'm pretty jealous of that set up. we listened to music and talked for a while. ending the night with laughs and drinking on the roof with neighbors. it was pretty epic.

sean's friend damian had a pony keg. we all met up yesterday at overlook park to drink it under the shade of some huge tree. it was so perfect. we played frisbee and swang on the swings. it couldn't have been any better. well, if we had cribbage it would have owned, but sean says he'll learn to play cribbage when he goes to outerspace. what a hater.

days and moments memories can remain completely tangible throughout your life. that certain smell that helps you remember a time in your life, or a day in passing is so incredible. you can never quite describe how it tastes or smells or feels because it is unique to oneself.

making connections and keeping them, however intermittent, is so important for our survival as human beings. remember how important it is to maintain a tenderness in our hearts. a hard heart is can be replenished over time, but I think the more we feel and the more we love in life the easier and better it is to feel love and tenderness for each other.

tra la la!

rolled to the fix last nite to see some folks and ran into my favorite cutie pies sean and justin. we chilled and drank dranks.

anyway, I got really drunk. bad bad bad. I shouldn't have had a drop at the fix. blah. I almost fell asleep on the bathroom floor, but kitty was like 'dude, you probably don't want to sleep next to my cat box. just sayin!' so I took my ass to bed and woke up with kitty sitting on my chest purring with that little motor. it was so funny! anyway, I was two hours late to work this morning due to the fact that I passed out cold whilst texting justin about ice cream. travesty. mostly cuz if I wasn't drunk last nite I could have been eating ice cream until the wee hours of the morning. bummer.

spaghetti cat throw down!!!