useless struggle.

couple weeks ago saw a super awesome group show in San Francisco, CA at known gallery.  oh boy!  It really did make my day. marissa textor is one of the artists showing.  these are all graphite drawings. peep game.  

my other half:

bent over backwards:

shell valentine:

steady undermining:

 

useless struggle:

 

palm tree blues:

 

high consciousness.

i like.

the museum of naive art in croatia is pretty tight.  this museum is a space that focuses on displaying works of art made by average folks that just so happen to be beautiful artists in their own right. these artists do not come from any prestigious artistic backgrounds per se, but they have the artistic ability better than many and are recognized with this space.

sometimes when i need some tasty patterns and delicious colors in my life i get inspired by the artists included in their museum. one of my favorite things about a majority of the artists you can see through their website is the patterning and grouping of colors.  their recognition of space and form is spot on, even in stances where it may not seem like it. they paint from pure feeling. this is not necessarily an abstraction, just high consciousness. 

ivan rabuzin:

 

emerik feješ:

this depicion of sainte-chapelle is dope.  i do believe the stained glass rendered is how architects and artists meant for the color to be seen back in the olden days of the 13th century. yep.

 

ivan generalić:
 i am loving this dudes stuff.  

 

a pesonal favorite.

germain van der steen:

moon faced cat.woah. wouldn't mind having this up in my foyer or something.

 

it's too early to be alive.  

barn's burnt down
now i can see
the moon.

-basho

darger.

so, the last few nites of sleep i wake up and all i can think of is henry darger. it's super weird, but normal cuz i have had one of his books at my disposal. 

the other nite i dreamt that i was on this huge broad beach.  the sun was shining and the wind was gentle.  beside me was my mother. my birth mother.  i wrote her a letter earlier that evening.  i wanted to know what she was wearing and if she wore turquoise about her neck.  she sat with her toes in the sand and her hair was really long.  turquoise was the only color i recall about her.  we sat and then i looked down and i was showing her henry darger. 

i need a different book for real.  but i do love him a lot.  it baffles me that one person can live such a solitary life and not be found out about until it is past their time.  better late than never i guess. 

i wake in the morning. stars in my sleepy eyes.  it's all i can think of.

i like.

this morning i was drinking tea in my kitchen and i got to thinking how much i love it in there. it's my favorite place to be in my studio.  i do believe it is becaue of the fact that i have many chotchkies living on the shelves and stuff, they're so cute! how can i not love being in there? 

also it's cuz i have some neat prints that i've acquired over the years that i've been putting up lately.  one of my favorites is a tiny card i picked up from the pony club gallery at the everett street lofts.  to me, it's the most solid spot on that block.  they always have the goods. 

anyway, jennifer parks is my favorite.  she makes all kinds of neat drawings and prints of animals, ghosts and dreams.  she's neat.

i'm really in the mood for some coconut cream pie.  and some treasure hunting at goodwill.  somehow i will make this happen today.

love & bourbon.

last nite was hot toddy time at damons. it was really a good evening. as per usual we got deep about love and stuff, listened and told stories. sometimes confronting yourself with thoughts about love and life can hurt. i feel like those conversations can be very cathartic. sometimes when people share the same frustrations as you it can help you put your self into perspective. i guess it is what you make it. even though i can feel really miserable about being loved and having family and all of that, in the end i know i will be okay. i need to stop being such a baby. you have to exercise patience of the heart and soul to really feel love as you want it. one day I hope to be completely forgiving of myself, truly and fully. jesus.

ANYWAY! I learned a few new phrases in french, and fell in love with jacques brel. this man is it for real. i can't embed the video, cuz youtube people are busters. you can watch it here. he is so amazing. his expression. the emotion in his face. gaaaah! it drives me crazy! nina simone's version is equally as impressive because it's nina simone and she owns the world. you can listen to it down thar. and in true youtube fashion, there is no amazing video footage. oh nina, why do i love you so? whhhhhyyyyyy????!!! hallellujah for nina simone.

dear summer.

we had so many good times together. we drank too much though, so after today we're taking a break.

i'm going to miss the rooftop hanging sessions. long bikerides in the throbbing heat. long days. good burritos. horchata. laying on my couch with the windows open while fatty gives me a pedicure. the river. the glorious beautiful river. white wine spritzers. have bro sessions in backyards. the warm breeze moving the trees.

i guess i'm kind of bummed that it's over, but i really need to have more structure in the week. otherwise it makes me want to die being just at work. how do people seriously work here? are they joking? jesus. It's really a moot point though. I like summer for so many reasons. this year though ... bad things happened a lot it seemed. I feel better now that all of it has passed and I can stand up while everything around me sheds this years growth. I love the effects of spring. of fall. we shed and we grow in mysterious ways all at once. harvest moons are going to be so much more beautiful this year.

All changes, even the most longed for have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves, we must die to one life before we enter another. - Anatole France

also, i can't fucking wait to go to the corn maize this year. i have a feeling we will be rolling deep with all the crews. ven diagram styles! maybe hit up the lighthouse inn or the always classy casa diablo. oh yeeeeea.

blah blah.

I am not in the mood for this today. i'm not even joking. I don't even have anything funny to post for today. well, not yet at least.

friday was the mystery ride. and of course, someone got hurt. jesus. I can't take you kids anywhere. josh's palm looked like the inside of a cherry poptart. I don't even think there is a cherry flavored pop tart, but if there was/is it would look like josh's little paw. we rode probably a million miles on friday nite. good times. I'll be posting some pictures as soon as anna gets them on the internets. ewwww/yay!

saturday was the block party in china town. it was pretty alright. lots of friends out enjoying some of the last of our nice weather (booooo). M64 did their thing and that was really nice, especially their lovely cover of house of the rising sun. who doesn't love that song? after them, a bunch of hipsters wearing toms showed up for yacht and someone else. I have no idea. we went to republic cafe and drank prairie fires.

someday loung hosted a free show with tony ozier's doo doo funk band, the lifesavas and chief xcel. dude. what happened to chief xcel? he must have gone to ground kontrol to play tetris or something, cuz his set was last? no one even had the energy to hang tough through his set for reals. lifesavas and tony ozier's band killed it. good times.

side note to saturday is that a person i dreamt about a while ago appeared to me in real life. flesh and blood. it was weird and amazing and left me speechless. it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

tra la la. whatever. I'm going to go troll the internets for something fun and exciting.

mountain sitting.

we got to hang out at the top of mount hood forest this weekend. it was so amazing! it was on this gentle sloping hill that had soft ground cover all around us. kind of like sand. our spot overlooked the entire valley basically and at night we could hear the wind whipping through tree tops. it was all very magestic and beautiful. all of us had some pretty epic dreams through the weekend. the first nite they were all bad. the next nite most of slept a little better. erin had a dream that julia made a pinata which got stolen. when it was smashed open by ben there were condoms and wads of cash in it. ben got 28 clams. erin got the same.

we forgot to howl at the moon! lame.

the most lovely thing about the weekend were our in depth conversations about farts. I think we really have something there. we plan to make t-shirts and sell them on the side of the road. the one for napa, which I think Karen came up with, is 'I crop dusted Napa Valley' and have some kind of funny graphic to accompany the text. so epic, wouldn't you agree?

bruce was being really bossy this weekend. but it was cute so we gave him hot dogs and let him chase the flies.

also, we're going to start a blog on French toast, which will also moonlight occassionally as a fart information blog. just in case. for our French toast blog, we'll all be contributing our reviews in and around the Northwestern region of America. I think it's going to blow up. real talk.

perfect day

this weekend consisted of perfect days. not just in the sense that everything was accomplished that needed to be accomplished. seeing friends I had not seen for quite some time, sweet weather and long rides on the peninsula, and long talks and laughs with good people.

justin got some free tickets to the rock the bells show at the roseland, we went for talib kweli and it was pretty sweet! I love talib so much. jesus. afterward was drinks and dum dums at the republic cafe. I got to see justin's loft above everyday music, and I have to admit I'm pretty jealous of that set up. we listened to music and talked for a while. ending the night with laughs and drinking on the roof with neighbors. it was pretty epic.

sean's friend damian had a pony keg. we all met up yesterday at overlook park to drink it under the shade of some huge tree. it was so perfect. we played frisbee and swang on the swings. it couldn't have been any better. well, if we had cribbage it would have owned, but sean says he'll learn to play cribbage when he goes to outerspace. what a hater.

days and moments memories can remain completely tangible throughout your life. that certain smell that helps you remember a time in your life, or a day in passing is so incredible. you can never quite describe how it tastes or smells or feels because it is unique to oneself.

making connections and keeping them, however intermittent, is so important for our survival as human beings. remember how important it is to maintain a tenderness in our hearts. a hard heart is can be replenished over time, but I think the more we feel and the more we love in life the easier and better it is to feel love and tenderness for each other.

thinking.

I'm really tired all of a sudden. the clouds are back, leaving a stillness to the warm air. you never know if it's going to pour down and rain or stretch open like a wound pouring sunshine. it's a fine line it seems like. at any rate, I'm rather nostalgic today. I was thinking about how beautiful and purple the sky was last night and how I wanted it to last forever. I like to reminisce through my film. it's making a comeback this fall. I have about ten rolls to get developed. I can't wait, I really can't.

night sky

sean, justin and jake came by last night. sean and I ate treats and giggled like little kids. I was such a space cadet. we went up to the roof and watched the twilight move into darkness under the clouds and night sky. off in the distance the clouds and sky were a bright pink. like a sherbet, electric. we talked of wizard logs and spying. I'm really into the idea also of setting up a tin can + string communication system with justin. I mean, our rooftops are practically touching. it's totally foolproof. I'm really thankful for my friends when we have moments like that. we didn't stay out late enough to catch any of the meteors, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

I read some more about holden caufield and then went to sleep. it was a peaceful sleep. no dreams, which may have been good. I haven't been enjoying those waking dreams that have been happening so much. it's hard to differentiate subjective from objective details anymore. I don't know.