bumout.

I have only 14 more pages of a heartbreaking work of a staggering genius. for one, I'm officially in love with toph. I've been internet stalking him all morning. I want to see what he looks like. I bet he's really fun. maybe if I go to san francisco we can get drinks or something. It's kind of weird to think that's he's my age. i mean, sort of. also, he could be totally boring, but I don't think so. being raised by your siblings probably has its perks. you learn slang earlier and get in less trouble for being sarcastic. anyway, the point is that I'm kind of obsessed with knowing about toph. what's he doing now? I heard he wrote an episode for some wb show. who knows, I don't even care cuz i won't watch it unless toph is in it. also, I don't have a television.

I guess there wasn't a second comment. anyway.

I don't want to finish the book today. cuz then i'll have nothing else to read at work. then I"ll have to ... dare I say it ... work? lame.

my next book was going to be fortress of solitude by jonathan lethem, but it has a hold on it at the damn library. this is why the library sucks. just when you get excited about something, you have to return it. yesterday I had to buy heartbreaking work ... cuz I was only page 231 and had to finish it. i'm not complaining about the money, but I'm complaining about how it interupts the flow. just sayin.

oh. and I also got sa-ra's new album nuclear evolution: the age of love. totally two paws up, just as expected. what I really want is willie isz, but Ima have to keep waiting. booooo.



for fun.

ultra-violet.

sometimes it's hard to imagine being affected by something completely intangible. something that you want to become wrapped up in but have no idea what it looks like or how strong it can hold you. it can choke you up. something that you want to feel because you've never felt it. it's a curiosity almost. i spend so long looking for this, but I don't even know where to look or what to look for. i'll spend my whole life looking, who knows if i'll find it. just let it find me I guess. jesus. sometimes I feel like there are cobwebs in my heart.

fuck.

anyway. I've been reading A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. this book is amazing. I started reading on sunday, basically. saturday I was feel a little out of place so I didn't read anything. but on sunday and yesterday I couldn't put the damn thing down. I'm literally obsessed with J.D. Salinger. he could write straight from the heart and relate to any jerk that picked up his books. especially (obviously) Catcher in the Rye. Eggers like is the reincarnation. fucking astounding. I'm bummed because I forgot to renew the dang thing at the library and now I have to return and I'm only on page 231. fuck. oh well. I'll finish it up at powells or something.

de la soul was amazing btw.

making things easier.

I just finished kafka on the shore. honestly, I can't give this book enough words to describe how it has changed me and made me feel. sometimes certain ideas and things create a motion inside of you. in your heart and mind. idea, books, people, whatever. this was definitely one of them. it changes the way you see light. the way you see your spirit and how you love. the way you love yourself and the decisions in your life. a work of fiction that doubles as something much deeper than that because it doesn't feel like fiction. I want to read it again and again. I think my dreams have become a lot less indescribable and more definitive toward my way of thinking. recently, my dreams have been such a mess. objective. subjective. undefinable. now I feel better. more peaceful. anyway. enough of that. I really do love that book. oh yes.

two paws up. fo sho.

kafka on the shore

this weekend I finished reading for whom the bell tolls by ernest hemingway. he certainly has a strange style of writing, mostly that he employs the word thou and thy and all that jazz. it's kind of funny. i really enjoyed it, in retrospect, but while I was reading it I almost wanted to die. maria really got on my nerves, as she's portrayed so fucking needy. I mean, i know she went through some shit and what not, but she totally got on my nerves. plus the schizophrenia of robert jordan was kind of fun. sometimes. othertimes it was super duper weird and page skipping lame. oops. I know I should have liked it more. i'm giving this book one paw up. srsly.

anyway, i'm on to bigger and better things. I'm finally well into reading kafka on the shore. I really love murakami's style of writing. it's so easy to read, and sweetly introspective. every thought is chosen so delicately. it's so great! after that I'm going to begin reading the heartbreaking work of a staggering genius. i'm hoping to really get more reading done before school starts.