WANT/NEED

when I'm serious about something or someone I have the habit of using all caps. yes, it's true. don't trip. srsly though, peep game on this j-c-de castelbajac sweater. oh my.



you can buy it for like 600 clams on the colette website. jesus. I know what I'm buying with my financial aid.

mark mawson

his work is oh-so nice. check out his series aqueous. I love how soft the shapes are and how physically vibrant the colors are. it's a tangible color in each one and so beautiful.

perfect day

this weekend consisted of perfect days. not just in the sense that everything was accomplished that needed to be accomplished. seeing friends I had not seen for quite some time, sweet weather and long rides on the peninsula, and long talks and laughs with good people.

justin got some free tickets to the rock the bells show at the roseland, we went for talib kweli and it was pretty sweet! I love talib so much. jesus. afterward was drinks and dum dums at the republic cafe. I got to see justin's loft above everyday music, and I have to admit I'm pretty jealous of that set up. we listened to music and talked for a while. ending the night with laughs and drinking on the roof with neighbors. it was pretty epic.

sean's friend damian had a pony keg. we all met up yesterday at overlook park to drink it under the shade of some huge tree. it was so perfect. we played frisbee and swang on the swings. it couldn't have been any better. well, if we had cribbage it would have owned, but sean says he'll learn to play cribbage when he goes to outerspace. what a hater.

days and moments memories can remain completely tangible throughout your life. that certain smell that helps you remember a time in your life, or a day in passing is so incredible. you can never quite describe how it tastes or smells or feels because it is unique to oneself.

making connections and keeping them, however intermittent, is so important for our survival as human beings. remember how important it is to maintain a tenderness in our hearts. a hard heart is can be replenished over time, but I think the more we feel and the more we love in life the easier and better it is to feel love and tenderness for each other.

shoes?

maybe we can ...

kenny of Fresh Selects had his first show for his website last nite and of course he brought out one of the best in the game. not only was this the first female emcee that the fix has brought in, but it was Invincible! I really hope this sets a precedent, not only for the artists that are brought in, but for a new presence brought in by Kenny. Her rhymes were so slick, and can kill any dude on the stage. she had to deal with the fact that the monitors stopped working for the first 15 minutes or so of her set and did it with ease. freestyles with milton and a dude from sandpeople, that was pretty sick. overall a dope show with a live crowd. Invincible is a force I doubt any emcee would want to reckon with. she also did some nice tribute material for Baatin which everyone appreciated I think. It's amazing how even though our cities and values can be so far apart, when a person like Baatin goes away we really recognize our strengths which is the music itself. She was such an amazing person to have at the Fix and so humble and gracious for people coming out and giving her props. wow. best part was that most of them were dudes. I like seeing that.

tonite should pretty tight. going to meet up with the friends at Rotture for Live and Direct. I love that night.



the rest of the weekend is going to be pretty peace. I'm helping out tomorrow at the James John Elementary to paint some walls or something and probably hitting Sauvie's island for some dang honey sticks. that's what I'm talking about. some of that sweet shit. I'm waiting. patiently.

thinking.

I'm really tired all of a sudden. the clouds are back, leaving a stillness to the warm air. you never know if it's going to pour down and rain or stretch open like a wound pouring sunshine. it's a fine line it seems like. at any rate, I'm rather nostalgic today. I was thinking about how beautiful and purple the sky was last night and how I wanted it to last forever. I like to reminisce through my film. it's making a comeback this fall. I have about ten rolls to get developed. I can't wait, I really can't.

night sky

sean, justin and jake came by last night. sean and I ate treats and giggled like little kids. I was such a space cadet. we went up to the roof and watched the twilight move into darkness under the clouds and night sky. off in the distance the clouds and sky were a bright pink. like a sherbet, electric. we talked of wizard logs and spying. I'm really into the idea also of setting up a tin can + string communication system with justin. I mean, our rooftops are practically touching. it's totally foolproof. I'm really thankful for my friends when we have moments like that. we didn't stay out late enough to catch any of the meteors, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

I read some more about holden caufield and then went to sleep. it was a peaceful sleep. no dreams, which may have been good. I haven't been enjoying those waking dreams that have been happening so much. it's hard to differentiate subjective from objective details anymore. I don't know.

sick day

I feel like I'm not in my body right now. every time I think I have something good, it slips from my very fingers. I don't know if I'll ever get it. all I want is to love and learn from others, which I do, but I want something more. the ones I want will never reach me, what am I doing wrong? am I the one who is actually doing something wrong? I pick the wrong people almost on a regular basis. I will never get the knack of this and it hurts so much to feel like I am so alone in the world.

I've been still have those dreams. things that I think may have happened, but I never know. every day is like a question of whether or not it has happened. I just want to disappear for reals this time. i can't take it anymore.

tra la la!

rolled to the fix last nite to see some folks and ran into my favorite cutie pies sean and justin. we chilled and drank dranks.

anyway, I got really drunk. bad bad bad. I shouldn't have had a drop at the fix. blah. I almost fell asleep on the bathroom floor, but kitty was like 'dude, you probably don't want to sleep next to my cat box. just sayin!' so I took my ass to bed and woke up with kitty sitting on my chest purring with that little motor. it was so funny! anyway, I was two hours late to work this morning due to the fact that I passed out cold whilst texting justin about ice cream. travesty. mostly cuz if I wasn't drunk last nite I could have been eating ice cream until the wee hours of the morning. bummer.

spaghetti cat throw down!!!

moving along

feeling sluggish this morning ... It could be because of the clouds, or the 70 degrees outside. I have no idea. more likely it is the full moon's lingering effects on my center of gravity. I had weird dreams again last nite. the kind of ones that make you feel awake when you're not. I talked to mindy for a long time last nite about death and dreams and being awake when you're really asleep and time travel and all sorts of stuff. she brings spark to my otherwise irritating days. I do wish we still were in the same city. I need to visit her and baby jonah soon.

another couple things about today. actually, a few things! I finally got my stupid fan in the mail from home depot. thanks for being timely, jerks! now that it's 70 degrees. ha. De La Soul is going to be in portland on september 4th! hallelujah! I'm going to spend 30 bucks to see them and I don't care. De La to the death! I wish I could just spend 4 hours listening to them do all their albums. that would be sick. Unfortunately, it's at the roseland and I loathe that place. I think it could be a potentially good venue, but more for bands or something. for really good hip hop, I wish promoters could bring them to somewhere like Berbatis, or even rotture! I know it's more obscure and a lot smaller, which equates to less money (especially for bigger acts) but I believe intimacy in venues really brings a great crowd. not a fan of teeny boppers. NEWAI. I can't remember whatever else I was super amped about today, I blame the sleeps. I need a nap. real talk.

the fix tonite. bbq's this weekend and lots of friends. I hope I can keep up.

Full Moon Status.

Today's a full moon. A lunar one at that. Things seem to always be weird around full moons. I sometimes feel so vibrant and alive that I'm going to explode. Other times I feel like I want to disappear into the folds of the universe. On those occasions it makes me feel like I'm going to implode.

I feel centered, but in a way that is untouchable and indescribable. A lot of energy is used up to try and remain centered in this gravitational pull. I just don't know how to exert energy toward any one person at all. I want to lie in a field and let the wind circle my limbs, kiss my eyelids and crawl over my face. I want to feel the weight of gravity lifted off of me.

I want to go away for a very long time.

ooooh!!!

Stuff I like. The visual list. This ring is so dang pretty. look at the stacks! stacked rings are so 90's, but ocassionally I see one like this that takes my very breath away! This is by Rui & Aguri and can be found on etsy.



Next up! Marit Fujiwara. Behold, what beauty. This type of textile making is right up my alley because it completely dissolves into fashion. I love designers that understand the medium they work with to the point that it is mind boggling!! an extension of themselves, if you will. Anyway, peep game.


I love how the colors essentially run together, but whatever process was used made it appear symmetrical and, of course, highly detailed. the stitching is fine and executed so delicately. it's like a cloud of watercolors. I really think that Tanana Takite is on some other shit. The website is http://www.behance.net/MaritFujiwara






Now, here we have our animal friend from Japan! he's so cute! look at his bushy eyebrows! I think all animals need eyebrows like this little dude. plus, japanese television makes it even more hilarious. I think that anyone can really appreciate this little pup.








Over the weekend, Baatin of Slum Village died. Still no information on how or why or what. I must say, that I am really bummed ... rest in peace!